what i feel now.

I am still so mad at you, I am still so mad at me.

Ain’t got time to be mad at me, we ain’t got time to be mad at me.

I know it’s not our fault, I know we made the best hard decisions.

But who’s gonna make it, if I don’t make it?

Better for you, better for me.

I know it’s difficult for you to See.

Because I want to hope for it.

I catch a glimpse of the love they feel, And I want to feel it.

I feel like I am the queen, But one That’s tired of the hits.

Dear book, Dear therapist, dear drink, Dear bed I need you to answer me.

Who’s gonna fix a leader with so much ache. Ache in My Chest, the panic in My body. How can I handle the beating in My Chest, And the breathing in My lungs?

Dear drink why am I reaching out to you?

Give me a stage, music, a notepad. Give me My love. Anything that stops me from self destructing. I don’t want to need This drink anymore.

I am scared of what Will leave me, And what’s going to come back. But it’s me. I know it’s me.

Me. Holding his hand to say I do. Holding her little soft hands. Feeling the sand under My feet. Sharing these stories with them. Having This name. To change the world. To help them smile, help them See. Help me smile, help me See.

I need you to know that I am not perfect. And I am Working on it. But I have beaten these demons before. And Today the love is bigger than the pain. That’s all because of all of you. Because of the change we are making Together. Because of the love you make me feel. That’s How I know I am going to go through This. Because I am on the other side of me. And I am pushing through the wall. But you believe in the other side of me.

But I am just not ready to join you just yet. Keep dreaming And fighting with me. Because we, are on our way to changing the world.

❤️

Laresz.

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